Rikki-Lee gets lippy

By Lilly O’Gorman
IN a matter of two years Rikki-Lee Lawrence went from being the girl who was always smiling, to the girl who was afraid to leave the house.
Today, she is the girl inspiring hundreds with her story.
Despite still facing daily struggles with depression, the young woman from Narre Warren has found a way to turn her experiences into something positive for others.
Her blog, ‘A Fatal Attraction to Cuteness’ started last October out of boredom but has since become a source of inspiration for hundreds of people.
Some of Rikki-Lee’s video posts in which she discusses her depression have received almost 500 hits and the response from visitors to the site has been positive.
“A couple of people have said that I have really helped them to talk about (their depression),” she said.
“A lot of people speak to me on twitter and tumblr, including a lot of people with body image issues – it’s all linked together. I tell people that they can talk to me.”
Of course, there wasn’t always a positive spin to help Rikki-Lee navigate through the minefield of anxiety and depression.
She experienced her first panic attack at work in mid-2009, and after continued attacks, she was diagnosed with depression in February 2010.
“I wouldn’t go to work, I wouldn’t go out, I wouldn’t see my friends,” Rikki-Lee said.
“In December of 2009 it became really bad and by April 2010 I was on anti-depressants. That was difficult, because I hate even taking Panadol when I have a headache, let alone anti-depressants.”
“Now it’s constant, mostly when I go out. I’m always thinking, ‘what if I feel sick again?’ Any situation where I am not in control is when my anxiety plays up.
“I have nothing wrong with my life, I have the best job and I just got a promotion. I have to keep telling myself that.”
Just like her internal pressures, there are the constant external factors weighing in as well.
“My mum has had depression and anxiety for about 17 years now. It was really hard to admit to her that I did too, because mum felt like it was her fault,” Rikki-Lee said.
And when Rikki-Lee eventually did speak out publicly about her depression and anxiety, she was met with ignorance and a lack of understanding.
“People I went to school with said, ‘Rikki -Lee doesn’t have depression she was always so happy at school’.”
And it is that precise misconception that Rikki-Lee hopes to dispel through her blog.
“That’s why I like talking about it because it’s a silent thing. You can’t really tell a lot of the time, but it affects everyone.
“I do it for my mum mostly. I want her to get better and me to get better and other people too – everyone.”
Rikki-Lee said events such as ‘Liptember’, a charity event in its second year and running during the month of September, were essential to draw attention to depression and anxiety, just like she hoped to do through her blog.
“I just really want people to talk about it so that they’re not suffering in silence,” she said.
Liptember calls on women to wear lipstick every day in September to raise money and awareness for women’s mental health issues.