By Tyler Wright
An Upwey local is uniting bereaved parents this Christmas with a tribute to their children who have passed away.
On the Tree of Souls at the FLAME Community Garden in Tecoma, hundreds of images of children of all ages who have died sit in the shape of baubles as a way for people to gather to celebrate and mourn their loved one during the holiday season.
The Tree of Souls began last year as Rineke Leigh approached what would be her second Christmas without her son Chris, who passed away in a skateboarding incident in 2021.
Parents have since been able to post their photos via threads on the Tree of Souls Facebook page or through messenger.
“It really has helped, and I think it allows people to come together and know that they’re not alone,” Rineke said.
“It is a very lonely journey when when you lose a child; although all of us on the tree are in that same position, the circumstances by which we got there are still very individual.
“It does provide that place to be able to connect and say ‘ I hear you,’ and it’s very important for people to know that their child exists in the world and is remembered.”
The initiative has grown from its origins a year ago, with an additional 150 baubles created and placed on the tree from photos submitted by parents who are grieving.
“After last year, because it was in my front garden, I felt for all the people that asked me if they could come, there were probably other people that didn’t feel comfortable coming because it was in a private property,” Rineke said.
“It was my vision from then to see if we could move it into a more public space.
“I did make an attempt at Burrinja [Cultural Centre in Upwey], but there were some limitations there, but they actually were the ones that suggested I approach the community garden, and they, and as well as the Tecoma Uniting Church, have been so open and supportive of the project being there.”
This year, Art of Hope and the 1000 Hearts project donated felt hearts for visitors to take home as a keepsake after their time at the tree.
Rineke said it has allowed people to come together and realise they are not alone.
“There’s so much gratitude on the [Tree of Souls Facebook] page for what we’re doing,” she said.
“It still sparks from like a selfish need within me to do something for Chris, but it really has taken off.
“It’s definitely bittersweet but given that everyone on there is having to navigate a grief that’s so out of sequence to how we thought life would be helps us all feel less isolated and alone.”
The Tree of Souls is set to expand overseas in 2024, with a woman in California wanting to set up her own tree and inviting both Rineke’s son Chris and the children on the existing tree to join her overseas.
“There are people on this tree that are interstate within Australia, so my vision for next year is to get some volunteers in different states here and see if we can get all the states represented by a volunteer to set up a tree in their area so it’s also more accessible for people to visit,” Rineke said.
The Tree of Souls will be up in the FLAME Community Garden until 10 January 2024, with people able to visit at any time.
“It highlights the need to make this subject not so scary for people, and to understand that death does happen at any age and although we don’t want to really talk about it, it’s important that we do,” Rineke said.
“There’s no need to try and make it better, to placate, to fix – that’s each of our individual journey – but to acknowledge the sadness and speak their name is one of the most healing things others can do.”
The FLAME Community Garden is located at 1566 Burwood Highway in Tecoma.
You can find more information on the Tree of Souls by visiting the Facebook page of the same name.
If you are in need of support, you can contact Griefline on 1300 845 745 or The Compassionate Friends Victoria 24 hour grief support line on 1300 064 068.
